Many married people don't realize that they are unwittingly destroying their marriage. Then, they are surprised to see it fall apart around them.

Here are ten behaviors that erode, or "bust" the love in a marriage. Eliminate them from your marriage and watch your relationship grow in health.

-- Refusing to listen to your spouse.

-- Devaluing your spouse's thoughts and interests.

-- Thinking you already know all there is to know about your spouse, no matter how long you have been married.

-- Ridiculing your spouse privately, or worse, in front of others.

-- Treating your spouse like a child instead of like an equal and worthy adult partner.

-- Ignoring your spouse's needs and wishes.

-- Neglecting basic politeness and courtesy in your marriage.

-- Thinking that women and men are the same, or have to be the same, in areas such as outlook, habits, emotions, romance, or anything else.

-- Keeping a mental list of all the things your spouse has ever done wrong.

-- Holding back your heartfelt "I'm sorry" when you need to say it.

On the other hand, the "marriage-builders" listed below strengthen and add joy and zest to a marriage.

Use them liberally with your spouse. Save the list and use it as a check-up to protect the love in your marriage.

-- Listen to your spouse -- always.

-- Value your spouse's thoughts and interests, even if you don't share them.

-- Realize that your spouse is changing and growing as a person daily. Ask questions to keep up with the latest.

-- Honor your spouse when alone, and especially when in front of others.

-- Treat your spouse like an equal and worthy adult partner.

-- Act on behalf of your spouse's needs and wishes.

-- Use basic politeness and courtesy in your marriage.

-- Let the natural differences between men and women lead you and your spouse into all sorts of intriguing discussions. Enjoy the differences when you can--accept them all the other times.

-- Forgive your spouse.

-- Say a heartfelt "I'm sorry" every time you need to. (Source: marriage.suite101.com)